lying

to myself all the time. I need to go to class but I'm sitting here just trying to ignore how huge and empty my body feels but at the same time fathom the feeling enough to express it.

Whatever happened to me.. I used to how such power over myself it was euphoric... I ignore my plans in favor of gratification. I teeter between wanting nothing and wanting everything. Although perhaps teeter is the wrong word as I spend most of my time consuming everything.

I just need today. I need to do well today and maybe I will feel a little less out of control.

Today is...
L: banana (105)
S: veggies (50)
D: greenbeans (44), 3oz chicken breast (82), curry sauce (40)
Total: 321

And then maybe 400 tomorrow.

I'm making a promise to myself to report back tonight.

A little honesty might go a long way.

Edit...
-banana
-veggies
+pretzels
+cheerios
+handful of popcorn
+coconut water.