the boat. Or the train. Or however that shit goes.
Do you ever worry, that you've missed out on someone that might have been perfect for you? It's uncomfortable. Like you fucked up your chance at true happiness. That's a big thing to fuck up, and move on from. Well not that I fucked it up. But the universe did. Circumstances beyond our control. And I'll never really know. All I really know is that you lay in bed far away consumed by the same fear. And you know it could have been awful, all wrong, unhappy. But I'll never know. So the doubt in my head claws at my skull every night, and my dreams are full of possibility realized. And I wake up wondering. But I wake up to reality. Where the absence of possibility is the only certainty.
Maybe my body is just lonely. I need the rhythm of someone's skin on mine, and a mouth greedy for mine. And not just in bed. I need to be wanted outside of the lights turned off under the sheets. I need to be wanted when you walk in the door. I need to be wanted while I'm cooking dinner. I need to be wanted while we waste away on the couch.
I'm needy.
I don't think its a bad thing to be "needy", as long as the person you need reciprocates the need. A balanced neediness. I also think its good that you are wanting something more than physical, it sounds like you are searching for a more meaningful emotional thing.
ReplyDeleteyes. i have felt that i missed out on something, esp. when all day it felt as if something good was about to happen - but never did.
ReplyDeleteyuh huh - i'm needy also - want to be wanted
walking in the door - talking on the phone-
my hair under a hat...