reporting

a good day :)

I didn't do P90x... not enough room! But I did a Jillian Michael's DVD, and I ate almost perfectly. A few tiny slip-ups here and there, but I am NOT going to let myself say it was a bad day over those things. Because then I will drown myself in oreos and chips.

So I'm saying it was a good day, and I'm sticking to that.


Here's a confession: I haven't weighed myself too often. Because when I have, the number makes me want to cry. I've been busy, and lazy, and re-visiting a heavy drinking habit... I'm still in my 00's, but they're tight and unflattering. Here's the honest truth, last time I weighed myself I was 110... And I swore up and down when I was at 102 that I would never go back. I rambled about how terrifying that number was... But reaching it was effortless, and almost unnoticeable. I'm soft and dispaportioned. I bitch to my boyfriend about lookingfeelingbeing fat. But I've been so mortified to admit it here. I worked so hard, and then threw it all away...

So I'm hoping that by admitting it, I'll finally face it. It's like if I didn't say it here, I could pretend it wasn't real. But it is.


And I won't let it be anymore.

I'll weigh myself in the morning and post an honest number, make a plan, and then I'll go from there...