how long this not-binging mode will last. And actually maybe thats not the correct term. Because I have been eating a binge amount of calories everyday. On purpose. Its fucking scary. And I'm nervous...
Last night I ate a bagel thin with ham and grated cheese on top for dinner... I never eat cheese or bread unless its a binge. And then I eat a fucking lot. And for the few hours before dinner I was just thinking to myself, can I do this? Can I eat one serving, and be done? Will I scarf down the whole pack of bagels, the whole pack of ham, and the whole pack of cheese? Maybe I should find something else for dinner...
But I ate one serving. And then a cup of sugar-snap peas over the course of the evening. And I anxiously waited for the uncontrollable urge to cram everything in sight in my mouth. And it didn't come... Not yet anyway...
Fucking scary.
Good Luck with your not binging!! I have been binge free for 8 months now =) but do come really really close!! Just gotta stay focused =)
ReplyDeleteI used to have a blog awhile ago but now I am on a journey to recovery, to better eating habits so I have created a new blog!! I chose to follow people who have distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through a lot better and wont judge me if I have an out of control day =) I would be great if we could support each other =)
“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”
♥ Bree