looming

I can feel a bad night creeping in. The boyfriend just left for the city. He said he won't roll, and be home by 4 am. Only after he tried to argue against this agreement. So I'm not very convinced his heart is in it (and I'm pretty sure he snuck the cracker into his backpack). We're supposed to leave tomorrow afternoon for the city ourselves, and stay in this lovely luxurious hotel. As kind of an "us getaway".

I feel in my bones I'm gonna get a text at 5 am saying "sorry i'm not home i'm too rolled out to drive". I can see it in my head already... But I could be completely wrong. the whole good boyfriend thing is completely hit or miss. We've barely talked all week. And we live together. Fucking awesome. Him getting ready to go do something without me is the happiest I've seen him all week... It just twists me up inside that going to the hotel tomorrow will be more like being forced to go to work on the weekend... I'm lucky if I get a smile a day... Or a kiss  week... hahaha... what the fuck!

I don't complain to anyone about this shit. I'm so... fuck... embarrassed.
So I'm home alone for the rest of the night, stressing out, supposed to make cookies for my paper session with a classmate tomorrow. Just wanna drive to the store and get all sorts of shit and shove it down my throat so I have something else to think of besides being my boyfriend's least favorite person...

Fuck I sound pathetic.


***edit

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. i will say one thing for the boyfriend: i never ever eat so much shitty shit when he's around...