waiting.

For the boyfriend to get home.
For my stomach to be empty again.
For this cold as shit house to warm up.

Had a lot of fun today :)
I munched on celery and carrots when I got there. Then when dinner was ready I dished myself up small portions and ate, at most, half of each. I skipped the stuffing and the creamy crunchy fatty green bean casserole. Ate 2 bites of jello salad, half of my small piece of turkey, one slice of canned cranberry sauce, a few bites of mashed potatoes, 1 small slice of sweet potato and a few nibbles of a roll.
And I didn't eat dessert.
I feel so incredibly full, but remembering how little I actually consumed makes me feel better. I had so much fun hanging out with my family; they crack me up.

And after I had drank tons of water and ate veggies I weighed myself in my parents's bathroom: 115.

Back to restricting tomorrow.

And I don't even want that fucking pancake anymore (actually I stayed up thinking about hotdogs till 3 am last night. But I resisted popping one in the microwave!)

Tomorrow:
Breakfast: coffee = 50 cal
Lunch: soup = 100 cal
Snack: tea = 0 cal
Dinner: roasted veggies: 100 cal

I wanna try really hard to make it a 250 calorie day.

To make up for the holiday devoted to binging.

EDIT. Binged... Fuck me. Mindless, needless, its like if I start the cycle of eating I can't stop it. Don't even want to list the useless shit I literally sucked off the plate. Just ashamed of weak fatty me...

Gonna cut the calories in half tomorrow.  I can do it. I get to choose what I put in my mouth and swallow right?