staring

ahead. Formulating a plan. Or a goal. I'd like to be at least 102 by July. I feel like that gives me quite some time.

I miss 102 desperately. Knowing that I've been there makes it seem less impossible.

Today...
B: coffee  (20)
L: yogurt (100)
D: cabbage (30)
Snacks...
cheerios (100)
raisins (23)
almonds (57)
m&ms (34)

Total = 364

It's that stupid trail mix at work that always gets me. I was going to have brown rice and more veggies for dinner, maybe even some chicken, but I can NOT stop munching on that trail mix...

So a goal for tomorrow is not a single bite of trail mix. Not even one m&m!

I'm still deciding on exercise for today... I want to run so bad! But my shins are still sore, and I want them to get completely better so I can start running far and long again.

I love running. It feels so good. It's almost theraputic. I've gotten to the end of 4 miles before, running through a lush green trail, the sun beating down on me, all alone, and that last 1/2 mile I throw all caution to the wind and run as hard as I can. It's like the same release as crying. I feel like my whole body is sobbing and I pound all the anxiety and shitty things in my day into the pavement and run away from them as fast as I can...

I just want my legs to get better so I can keep running.

Plan for tomorrow:

B: coffee (20)
L: yogurt (100)
S: carrots (35)
D: brown rice and veggies (212)

Total = 367

Right now I'm comfortable as long as I stay under 400. Once I'm in the swing of things I might cycle up to 600 and down to 100 like I used to. We'll see..