the whole day. It was a bad day. I have a huge athletic thing on Saturday. I've been going back and forth in my head about keeping my calories down, or restocking to be ready... Which just... screwed up my head. So I ate too much. And it was dinner with boyfriend and his family. And my stomach hurt, and I wasn't hungry. But I ate, I ate anyway. More then I wanted or needed or even liked. And i've just been pushing down the panic, hyperventilating, but trying to hide it. The anxiety is overwhelming and makes me feel like I'm going to vomit.
And want to know the honest truth? I'm probably going to go eat more until I finally do throw up from panic and anxiety.
Or i don't know.
I'm just crawling out of my skin right now. What the fuck happened to me today.
Oh. And the scale was still 110 this morning...
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