procrastinating

about this last bit of finals. Did fine yesterday, until 11:30 as I sat on the living room floor trying to memorize verb conjugations (e, es, es, ons, ez, ent and many many more). And hellooooo jalapeno chips (and burning throat, burning stomach, guilty shameful mind).

This morning: water, a few sips of coffee. At lunch I'm thinking about fucking up last night, SO binge-orrific me starts clawing her way out. I eat more chips, the middle of cinnamon bread (still stale), and then stopped. One mistake (or a few) doesn't mean I need to fuck up forever. So I had broth for lunch. (Sidenote, I read on some blog somewhere to use bouillon cubes. Best fucking advice ever. 2 hot cups of delicious broth, 20 cals.) Diet coke, carrots (some hershey's kisses :-/) Gonna work out, more broth for dinner, nothing else, finish up all this finals shit...

Random note.... I have to go to that shitty rave for New Year's... the boyfriend basically said he's going whether or not I want to go... I can go with him, or do what I want, but he's going to go get high at the shitty rave... Fuck... Guess I'm going... I can't decide if I should stay up-tight about all this shit... or just let loose and have fun...  I mean, I really do like all his friends that we go with... and fuck... drugs, raves, hangovers, danger.... who really gives a shit?
I'll probably lose some weight hahaha...