into new territory here. Woke up to 111: my low weight. From 118 last month, to 111 today, I don't think I actually look that different... I think I need to work out a lot more than I am (which is never), if I want to see a difference. i have this image of my body in my head when I lose weight but don't work out. It's like a balloon deflating, the air isn't there any more, but all the stretched out huge floppy exterior is still there. Yummy.
Exhausted this morning, for no reason really. I went and got coffee then came home and just crashed in my lovely messy soft bed. I finally had to force myself out because there is so much I need to get done at the office. In my head talking to myself I was like, "You know you did such a good job yesterday, and you never got your toast. You can have one slice of toast, and then just cut back some calories at later meals. And you're tired, the carbs will be good for you. Don't even stress about the calories in that soft white bread, its ok". (Inner voice me is a fucking sweetheart sometimes) So I excitedly pop some toast in, butter it up (not with real butter of course) and take the first delicious bite. And fuck, I could only choke down half of it before I gave up and threw it away. It just didn't feel good in my mouth, and I wasn't hungry, so there really was no fucking enjoyment, and no fucking point.
Maybe I'm getting sick, maybe I'm just not hungry. Maybe I'm weaning myself off of finding comfort in food. Toast is the only thing i've really been craving, and that was a fucking fail. Hhhhmm... I don't know. Ha for someone who doesn't like food, I sure am rambling on about it.
Breakfast: coffee+half toast = 90 cal
Lunch: soup = 60 cal
Snack: tea = 0 cal
Dinner: cabbage = 90 cal
Total = 240
And hopefully get my lazy ass to do some sort of workout.
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